How have I made myself sad writing a crack fic? by phantompopcorn, Ron gives Hermione the best kind of birthday present. Drowned Boy by cest_what adds Marcus Flint into the Percy/Oliver mix. The first individual to be attacked was Mrs Norris, Filch's cat, whom he had a very close relationship with. Inspected By No 13 by Clell65619. [83], Immediately after the battle, Filch grimly looked at a large pile of rubble in the Entrance Hall, which he dutifully began trying to sweep up, while the fighters gathered in the Great Hall mourning over the dead, and celebrating over their victory.[82]. He also asked the Headmaster to let him use the shackles on Jacob's sibling as they were, in his eyes, very rebellious for facing the Cursed Vaults[84], Sniff around, my sweet, they might be lurking in a corner.Filch talking to Mrs Norris, Possibly the only being in Hogwarts that Filch actually liked was his beloved cat, Mrs Norris. In 1995, when Dolores Umbridge became High Inquisitor at Hogwarts, Filch gladly supported her. This doesnt end the same as all the others did. In an excuse to escape punishment, Draco told Filch he had been invited to Professor Slughorn's party, and Filch dragged him by the ear to Slughorn's office to see if his claim was true. Dumbledore then knocked down the Ministry officials, and left the school undetected. After the battle, he returned to his position of caretaker, as he was immediately seen sweeping near the Great Hall. Harry felt no dread, no terror, no anger or fury or resentment. Lets do the Time Warp Again by Rorschach's Blot. [6] He had long hair with a bald spot on the top of his head and quivery jowls. Editors Note, 6/22/2020: Following are the works of independent creators. On the former's first afternoon as Headmistress, Fred and George Weasley set off an enormous crate of Weasleys' Wildfire Whiz-bangs which spread all over the school. A new educational decree turns Harrys life upside down. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood PrinceHermione Granger and Harry Potter discussing the new security messures, Now in open war, upon the students' arrival at the school on 1 September, 1996, Filch was charged with checking the students and their possessions for dark objects with Secrecy Sensors. Please consider turning it on! During their next meeting about the Ball, Filch brought it up and Pince was eventually convinced. [71], In October, Filch stood as usual in the Entrance Hall checking the names of students who had permission to go in a Hogsmeade weekend trip. He's thrilled to be going to the only place he considered home. Youve been warned. [9] Filch never ceased his futile efforts to get Peeves expelled from the castle, and Peeves never stopped taunting Filch. However, when Arthur turned around he looked at all three at them with a heavy gaze from his blue eyes causing them all of them flinch. [47] During the Hallowe'en feast on 31 October, Filch wore his mouldy old tailcoat and added chairs to accommodate Igor Karkaroff, Olympe Maxime, Ludovic Bagman, and Bartemius Crouch Senior at the Staff Table. [51], If Filchs trying to learn magic from a Kwikspell course, I reckon he must be a Squib. They were saved by Quirinus Quirrell, who vouched for them while passing by. Dumbledore is not indifferent to the risk that runs the world of magic and only one person can destroy the terrifying monster, the king of knights . They brought either a Nose-Biting Teacup or Fanged Frisbee from Zonko's Joke Shop, and after Jacob's sibling placed the prank device inside his office after hiding themselves with the Shrinking Charm, Filch opened the box containing the prank device which forced him and Mrs Norris to retreat, allowing them to read and retrieve the notebooks. Were giving away a stack of our 20 favorite books of the year. Harry wanted him to do stuff for money, so Gilderoy naturally did as he was told. Harry is in his 2nd year when he gets another detention from Lockhart. This is a Triwizard clue! [13], Filch lived in a dingy and windowless office containing filing cabinets with detailed records of all the students Filch had disciplined. We Go Way Back: 25 of the Best Historical Fiction Books of the Past 10 Years, The Bestselling Books of the Week, According to All the Lists, New Releases Tuesday: The Best Books Out This Week, 11 of the Best Shnen Manga to Read in 2023. Varying Nature by Bunnyhops tells the tale of a threesome between Hermione, Ginny, and Luna, the lesbian Golden Trio. InA Bit of Respite by Bryonia Alba,Percy and Oliver get some much needed alone time. They were given detention in the Forbidden Forest, along with deductions of fifty house points each. [19], Filch later approached Jacob's sibling towards the end of the year, asking them where they were going. The other teachers, who could have removed the swamp in an instant, preferred instead to watch Umbridge struggle. With the passing of Educational Decree Number Twenty-Three, which appointed Dolores Umbridge to the post of High Inquisitor of Hogwarts, the Ministry effectively started its interference at the school. What is it? Harry asked with so much innocence in his voice that it practically made Lockhart drool. Frustrated, McGonagall sent him to do something constructive and find Peeves, for the Poltergeist would be helpful against the Death Eaters. [70][71] Most of the staff appeared to dislike Filch's grumpy and antipathetic personality, such as Minerva McGonagall, who could often be irritated by his behaviour (to the point of forgoing her usual politeness with fellow staff by calling him a "blithering idiot"),[9] and Horace Slughorn, who intended to report him for being more concerned about cleaning up than with the students' security. [70], Harry Potter and the Order of the PhoenixArgus Filch takes Harry Potter to Headmistress Dolores Umbridge, Although Filch disliked most students, Harry Potter was one of those he disliked most. I bet you'll think twice about breaking a school rule again, won't you, eh? [35], On 26 May, Filch brought the four students to Rubeus Hagrid, who was assigned to lead them into the Forbidden Forest. And above all, who is the mysterious and elusive guest? While we've done our best to make the core functionality of this site accessible without javascript, it will work better with it enabled. [70], In the evening of 1 March, 1997, as Rubeus Hagrid was escorting Harry Potter and Hermione Granger from the Hospital Wing where Ronald Weasley stayed after ingesting poisoned mead, Filch came across them threatening the students with detention. Filch first demanded they confess to having set off a Dungbomb in the Gryffindor common room, given their habit of trouble (which was in fact the work of Fred and George Weasley). [31], Harry Potter and the Philosopher's StoneFilch tries to catch the trio and Neville Longbottom breaking rules, By 1991, Filch had Mrs Norris, his cat, following Rubeus Hagrid every time he went up into the Castle. He apparently realised the Ministry of Magic was going to interfere at Hogwarts that school year, and clapped enthusiastically. [4] The Map was later brought back to Filch's office and kept there until Fred and George Weasley 'nicked' it during their first year, 19891990 school year, at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry after being hauled to his office for letting off a Dungbomb in a corridor. Granted they do come to visit, Harry just visits the most. He was aided by the Inquisitorial Squad, but odd things like antlers sprouting from their heads kept happening to its members. The Carrows were put in charge of all discipline and punishments, which were violent, including beatings and placing students under the Cruciatus Curse. [13], The next school year, Filch was furious when Harry learnt that he was a Squib. [72] Hagrid, on his side, insulted Filch, calling him "that old git",[13] and a "sneakin' Squib", when the latter insulted him. But when their children of the future appears, they are to read the books of their past,. [74], I'd appreciate it if you stopped trying to inch me closer to the shackles, Mr Filch.Jacob's sibling talking to Filch in his office. Did you lovethe movieGroundhog Day but also lamented the lack of wizard boy sex in it? Author: MyGinevra Published: 2015-09-26 Length: 424 pages Reviews: 0 reviews Letters From the Edge Genres: Drama , Romance Goodreads allows fanfiction if they are completed, self-published, and book-length. [78] By 1 September 1997, Severus Snape was made Headmaster of Hogwarts while his fellow Death Eaters, Alecto Carrow and Amycus Carrow became the Muggle Studies and Defence Against the Dark Arts teachers respectively, as well as Deputy Heads.[79]. The name "Argus" comes from Greek mythology, where it was the name of a giant with one hundred eyes who served the goddess Hera as a watchman (much like Mr Filch's role in patrolling the hallways of Hogwarts). Harry Potter gives it a try with Moaning Myrtle inHarry Potters Ghostly Experienceby mercuryidols. Sometimes a mans love for fruit knows no bounds. It would explain a lot. [35] Filch was obsessed with keeping the Castle neat and tidy, and was infuriated when students made a mess with potion ingredients, or forgot to wipe their feet. Under Umbridge, Filch walked around in an extremely good mood. [71], On 19 December, Harry Potter and Hermione Granger argued and speculated whether or not Filch and Madam Pince were secretly in love with each other. Still Waters Run Deep by sarhea keeps with the Hermione/Percy pairing and reminds us that prim and proper doesnt mean passionless.. Professor, something is poking my bum. Filch almost caught Harry Potter, Ronald Weasley, Hermione Granger, and Neville Longbottom, but they successfully managed to hide in the Forbidden Corridor as Peeves refused to share any information with Filch. "Min ymmrrn kyll. I cant write that well so dont expect anything amazing!! InThe Wolfsbane Effectby Kerichi, Remus is torn between his two loves, Tonks and Sirius. Strange, but consensual. From since Harry was at an early age, his father disdained him. [62] Also, as Umbridge granted Filch permission to torture misbehaving students,[64] whereas Dumbledore would never even think of such things, he had loyalty to her. Filch was also the only one of the Hogwarts staff to stay at Hogwarts Castle during the summer holidays. Harry Potter Fanfic Harry And Hermione. Albus always wanted Teddy, but never thought he would be able to have him. Feel free to suggest any pairings/situations you'd like to see, and eventually I'll try to include them (it could take a while). Thank you for signing up! Trust Meby RZZMG puts Hermione and Neville Longbottom together. There are quite a few episodes already, so if you want to get your Harry Potter erotica fix while on the go, this podcast is your answer! He hummed creakily under his breath, under the prospect of the changes Umbridge had announced him. Numerous pairings, including heterosexual and various LGBTQ+ oneshots, mainly involving Harry but also includes other relationships. [6] Hermione Granger later speculated that this was Umbridge's doing, as she probably needed an excuse to read Harry's post. There's something thrilling about being the famous Harry Potter's teacher and Lockhart takes advantage of the chance to get so close to him. Centaurs are infamous within the Harry Potter fandom for possibly raping a Harry Potter villain off-screen. [52], Yerse I've been telling Dumbledore for years and years he's too soft with you all. Turning their head quickly back and forth to find a dog and deer sleeping a few feet from them, and a very cold red headed woman sitting closer to him. One of the most popular male on male couples in the Harry Potter fandom are Sirius Black/Remus Lupin (WolfStar). Harry Potter is such a beautiful, erotic boy, and Gilderoy will have him wrapped tightly around his finger in the time it takes you to say Boggart. When Harry Potter reached Filch, the caretaker gave a great sniff as though to detect a whiff of Dungbombs.[58]. AU. InAs I Walk From My Machine by tamlane, Percy moves on to Astoria Greengrass after, on behalf on the Ministry of Magic, he puts out an ad asking for subjects to test experimental sex magic and Astoria answers the call. When a blood curse in Harry activates, it takes Harry over two years to deal with it Harry Potter never had sex before until fifth year when his uncle decided to rape him. [68] During the Start-of-Term Feast, Albus Dumbledore informed the students that Filch had asked him to remind the them that there was a blanket ban on any joke items bought at Fred and George Weasley's shop, Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes. Umbridge and her Inquisitorial Squad then managed to catch the students leaving the Room of Requirement and Harry Potter, head of the organisation, was taken to the Headmaster's office while joined by Umbridge, Edgecombe, Deputy Headmistress Minerva McGonagall, the Minister for Magic Cornelius Fudge and his Junior Assistant Percy Weasley, and two Aurors. [59] Later that same month, after Gryffindor's abysmal performance in their Quidditch match against Hufflepuff, the Slytherin sang Weasley is Our King so loudly and frequently that Filch banned the song from the corridors out of sheer irritation.[60]. Filch helped the students evacuate during the Battle of Hogwarts in 1998 and participated in the battle himself. [62] However, the counterattack against Umbridge was now in full force: much of the student body opposed Umbridge and Filch. Non-canon Harry Potter erotica: m/m. [62] He was one of the few people who actually liked her at the school. [44], That same year, Harry Potter was given the Marauder's Map by Fred and George Weasley, using it to sneak into Hogsmeade Village and walk throughout the castle, without Filch noticing him. . Harry starts a new path for his life in the summer after second year. [14], During the 1970s, Filch did many write-ups of James Potter and Sirius Black, occasionally accompanied by the names of Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew. [38] His cat was cured via the administration of Professor Sprouts Mandrake Restorative Draught, brewed with Professor Sprout's Mandrakes. [82], When the Death Eaters marched to Hogwarts Castle with Harry Potter's "dead body", Filch stood by Pomona Sprout, Poppy Pomfrey, and Horace Slughorn with a gloomy expression on his face. It is rumoured that he used to clean the shackles in his office hoping the Headmaster would let him use them on students again one day. Five years after their marriage, Harry and Ginny encounter new and disturbing challenges to their marriage and their happiness. Filch warned Snape at once and Harry, while trying to avoid them, hid in an unused classroom and stumbled into the Mirror of Erised for the first time. Thus, the caretaker started to support Umbridge and follow her orders. He was surprised and displeased when he realised that Mrs Norris was showing Alanza affection. Due perhaps to cosmic ineffability one of these summer school kids can lead the Elric brothers to precisely who the Truth had in mind. [9] In keeping with his dislike for students and their inevitable tendency to create messes and disorder (which he, as caretaker, would get stuck cleaning up), Filch idolised "the old ways" of discipline and constantly lamented that he was no longer allowed to use corporal punishment. Harry Potter was the son and only child of Prince James and Princess Lily. The strange gifts he has, and isn't going to question, should help in that regard. Mr Filch, the caretaker, has asked me to tell you that the list of objects forbidden inside the castle has this year been extended to include Screaming Yo-yos, Fanged Frisbees, and Ever-Bashing Boomerangs. That's what fanfiction is about. Disclaimer I don't own anything but my own ocs Add to library4.3kDiscussion 448Suggest tags Sigh, Teenagers 213 pages 6 months ago Selantro [42], Later in the evening of that same day, Sirius Black broke into the Castle and tried to enter Gryffindor Tower; this resulted in the destruction of the Fat Lady's portrait. [24], During this school year, he also caught Jacob's sibling with Nicholas de Mimsy-Porpington in the Potions Classroom. There is a small corner of the Internet dedicated to those of us who prefer the canonical Harry Potter couples. Harry didnt want to react this way. Soon, Filch discovered Harry and took him to his office; however, before he could punish Harry, Filch heard a noise and realised that Peeves had damaged a very valuable Vanishing Cabinet. InThe Dragon and the Roseby drcjsnider,generations collide when Rose Weasley gets intimate with Draco Malfoy. If you need help, you can contact: The Bureaucrats: HarryPotter512 and Scarletmoon579 The Administrators: Aliceandjasperforever, Hermione524 and Philered Our Head-Boy: Philered Our Biggest Contributor . However, Filch, in a way, helped Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix defeat the Death Eaters, as he helped McGonagall call Peeves during the Battle of Hogwarts. InBustle by yeaka, Quidditch star Oliver Wood has to deal with adoring fans and his raging desire for his boyfriend Percy. Every Tuesday, hosts Allie LeFevere, Lyndsay Rush, and Danny Chapman read a new chapter of Harry Potter erotic fanfiction. Now for the really weird erotica, the stories that defy classification. She jumped and hugged Harry, almost knocking him to the ground. Not enough for you? [51], At the end of the year, champion Cedric Diggory was murdered, while everyone learned from Harry about Lord Voldemort's return. This isn't going to be everybody's cup of tea. [73], Filch had been looking for someone to clear out his old punishment files, and when Severus Snape put Harry Potter in detention for hurting Draco Malfoy, he put Harry to work by making him copying out the misdeeds and punishments afresh and making sure that they were in alphabetical order without the aid of magic. What's this racket? PEEVES! Highlights from the author include Anxious, a 31-chapter epic exploration of Ron and Hermiones very adult relationship, and Midnight, a sexy Deathly Hallows-era one shot. "Well at least we know Potter's an . On the night stand, beside a plate that was empty but for a few crumbs, lay his wand and glasses. After placating Filch, he told them he had not seen Jacob, but that he if he had, he would have loved to have sent him to the British Ministry of Magic in shackles. He always begged Headmaster Albus Dumbledore to let him suspend students by their ankles from the ceiling. Neatly forged paperwork lands Ed a job teaching summer school remedial chemistry to children who are older than he is. Filch later took Mrs Norris to the pet gathering, telling her to behave after she hissed at Fang again. So far anyone who had so much dared to glance at the dark forbidding space between the Weasley womans legs had been turned to stone. Hermione looked up at Harry's face. When he realised that Jacob was their brother, he told them he should punish them while he still had the chance, given their brother's bad reputation. This is weird and awful and bad things happen in it. [44], So! [40], On 1 September, 1993, Filch attended the Start-of-Term Feast, and stood in the raised platform by the High Table while the school choir and orchestra led a presentation of Something Wicked This Way Comes. Of us who prefer the canonical Harry Potter erotic fanfiction life in the Harry Potter fandom possibly. 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